与文字的偶遇

某天，在大众书局逛着的时候，看见了这本翻译成华文版的书。转到后面去，看见了这篇那么美的文字，就在这里分享一下 ;)


爱你，已是成年往事。
我们最终难逃陌路相向，不得已转身天涯。

我独坐在异国的台阶上，
看阳光穿透午后的闷热，自树木的枝桠间倾泻而下。

我们曾说，爱至死不渝。
我们曾幻想，在彼此的体温间了却余生。

而今没有你。
我在台阶上安坐，任阳光闪耀，岁月蹉跎。

花开的光景璀璨如钻石，弥足珍贵。
蝴蝶赶着渡过沧海，仓促地抖开翅膀。

那一天，我坐在布满苔藓的台阶上，
轻轻地想念你。

你在的城辉煌灿烂。
而我的废墟上只有残落的花瓣，狼藉斑斑。

文字中带了沉沉忧伤，

却真的很美~

A night with Your surprise :')

Oh my God....... I have never thought that I would be that touched and grateful to receive the offer from the University of Warwick. The whole process happened within ten minutes when I was alone in my room and everyone else was asleep. Do not ask me why am I not sleeping at 4am in the morning, I just feel like writing down my feeling now~

All along since I started to complete my UCAS application, I have been setting my mind on LSE, one of the London Universities as well as the top school for BSc Accounting and Finance. What's wrong with a girl who was born and raised up in a city to aim for a life in such a big London city for her three years of university life right? Looking through the syllabus that LSE provides for my course, I had a feeling that I seriously wanted to enter this university. Their syllabus are more than just teaching you what you need to know, they include how to apply it in real life although their syllabus do not really give you exemption on ACCA or ICAEW professional papers. Well, I was not aiming to take that either.

So, I started to do research in order to get some inspiration in writing my personal statement. Browsing through all the information and analysis, I found what I want and the funniest thing is, I might be going onto a pathway that I once refused to. I have forgotten since when I started to set my mind on becoming an entrepreneur and one of my businesses will be a restaurant, a F&B business. I like the feeling of creating new venture, creating new value out of something as well as transferring your skills to others through sharing and education.

Being a successful entrepreneur ain't that easy, it requires a lot from a person and experiences in workplace are definitely required. When I was doing my research, I actually found out how a study in ICAEW can benefit one like me. Putting aside the fact that a lot of the top successful businessmen took up ICAEW or ACCA, by just looking on the future after the studies, I can enter an audit firm and start off my career life with being an auditor, completing my tasks by different companies. Well, I'm not saying that in order to become an entrepreneur, you must first take the professional papers, but I have been hoping to have the chance to experience, or at least to know more about how other big companies operate before I start to build my own business. It seems like taking this up will provide me the great chance and it's definitely better and more efficient than I change my job once in two years hahaha!

And so, I was thinking to take that up after studying in LSE. Until that day when I received rejection from LSE, honestly I did feel disappointed. It seemed like the want to study in London will not be fulfilled. Luckily the reason for them to reject me was due to my personal statement that did not demonstrate enough focus or the future planning after my degree but not due to my results which I could have work harder on it. I wrote about how important is the degree and how it can actually benefit to me for my future career as an entrepreneur. I guess they must be expecting one to write more about accounting and the future of an auditor or financial analyst. Well, I was the one who chose to not write that much about accounting because it's totally not what I'm interested in, so I could not brag about it too. I missed the chance because of my own choice but not due to something that I could have done better, I guess this made me feel a lot better.

God treated me really well, for He did not leave me alone in this battle. He put people around me, telling me that God has a better plan for me. Then, my friend started to tell me how good Warwick is, for it has the best research center in the UK and it provides you with the most exemptions in ICAEW. I went online to search about it too, it stated that ICAEW has a partnership with three top universities in the UK, which are Manchester, Cardiff and Warwick. Furthermore, Warwick was ranked 1st for degree in Accounting and Finance. He showed me all these after I got my rejection. Yea, I admit that I have been putting my main focus on the wrong aspect, wanting to live a city life and I nearly chose the wrong university. He got no other way but to take away my offer from LSE. (But LSE is really a very good university, both Warwick and LSE provide very good education and they are both top universities in the UK. It truly depends on yourself where do you want to study at as both will equip you with different skills and experiences, shaping you into a good graduate and highly efficient employee. The most important thing is still your attitude in learning and how you bring up yourself throughout the three years.)

So, I switched my target to Warwick, waited for more than one month for the reply. I knew that was normal, but the process of waiting was just too long. Refreshing the same page every midnight and morning just for the email from UCAS. Until the Petronas officers came to our college for engagement session, we still have not receive our offer from our first choice of university. You might be asking why do we need to worry, Petronas only allow us to apply to the top 20 universities in the UK and what's more can they ask for if we get our offer. But the truth is they are asking for diversity, they do not want to put so many scholars in one university, meaning that you might not get to enter to your first choice of university even if you are offered a place. Luckily, Mr Rasyidi said that they would not dictate that much. Last Sunday, after we had our church classes, my church friends prayed for me. They prayed to God to give me the best to me for He knows the best for me, taking care of me as I'm His daughter and fulfilling my little wish to study at Warwick. Then, Dayana received the offer on Thursday midnight.

I waited again for a whole day, hoping and praying that I will be the next one to receive the offer too. I reached home at about 12.45am after the celebration of our 3rd year anniersary (oops~~), the email has not come yet and I fell asleep with the thought that I have to wait for one more day. Surprisingly, I woke up at 4am. Guess what, the alarm of my digital watch woke me up =.= The purpose of the alarm was not to wake me up, but if you own a digital watch before, you would know that anyhow it is, you need to set a random time for the alarm. So, I opened my eyes and I could hear the voice in my mind, telling me to open my email. It must be Him, and so, I took my phone and did what He told me to do.

And arrrrrrrrrr................. there was a new email and it was the "status changed" notification from UCAS. Went to open the UCAS track --> saw the conditional offer --> speechless. I could not say anything else but just "Thank you God!". For some people, getting an offer from Warwick might not seem to be a big deal. But for one that has been longing just for the reply to come, worrying that if I get it late, Petronas might not allow me to be there, doubting my own ability and wondering if I will really be the one whom they accept, I felt extremely excited, with a little bit of surprised and a lot of gratefulness!

My dear God, seriously, thank you very much. Previously, I just saw what I really want, but You have a great plan for me and it's much more better than what I demanded for. I know I should have trusted You more on this, I should have just waited patiently for Your answer and Your surprise to come, but I did not. I worried, I doubted myself and I prayed for many times, I hope that I did not annoy you =P They were right, You treated me just like Your little baby, holding me tight since I came to this world. Thank You for all that You have done and all that You will be doing for me. I will live a great life and be the model of others, showing them how great are You in changing one's life. Thank you God <3

The cross and the moon

I will look on to You,

You lead my life, 

not only when the day is bright,

but also when I fight against the darkness ;)

昨晚，星光璀璨 **

昨晚，难得有如此雅兴，在晚餐过后，和 Lian，min wen 坐在游泳池旁一边吃冰淇淋，一边谈天。我记得，我们以前的学哥学姐常常都会这么做，结伴在泳池旁一起聊天到深夜。或许是我们这一代的华人比较少，或许我该说能够谈心的人并不多吧~ 大家似乎还是比较在乎自己，或是根本不觉得有那个必要。

我们从坐在椅子上谈着缺少了的第四位，渐渐地到坐在地上，把脚浸在泳池里。在那星星满布的夜空下，潺潺的流水声轻微地伴奏着，大家都不知觉地多了一份感性。昨晚，夜很深，周围很静，只有那管理员在周围巡逻。我真的真的好久没有看见那么漂亮的夜空了，很多星星，仿佛是为了这一晚而现身的，很美，很美。。。

整夜，我们的话题就围绕在感情内。以前中学时期，年少无知的我们学人家说爱，结果却爱得了满身伤。大家起初都似乎很有感觉，也很向往那在一起的时候，可当问题出现时，却因为是第一次，所以不知所措，所以伤了自己伤了对方，结束了感情。听着 Lian 说他的故事，听着他说 “我当时真的很笨，真的真的很笨” 时，突然好有感触。

大人总喜欢说，中学时期很多小孩子都是情犊初开，想要尝试谈恋爱的感觉，却都还没搞懂什么是爱。可是，有很多时候，在年少轻狂期所做的这些 “傻事” 却是很难忘的。无论是好是坏，都会有一部分是你常会缅怀的，至少我是如此，他们也是如此。如今，站在这稍微成熟的成长阶段，再一次看回感情这门事，思想观点可真的不一样了。

如果你问我，三年来我们是怎么过的，我会说我们有自己独特的方式吧。或许很多人会好奇，那么少见面，行吗？我会说，双方懂得平衡就好。我们本来就是个比较不喜欢受约束的人，而在这段时日大家也想好好地和朋友们一起玩翻天。这一方面的拿捏，他真的做得很好，连 Lian 也赞他好，哈哈！

两个人走在一起的时候，主要的就是找个适合大家的平衡点吧。如果你确定了他将是你唯一所爱的人，那就不会有在一起久了会厌倦或是越长久越发觉不适合。很多人会说，结婚是爱情的坟墓或是在一起久了，爱就没有了，只剩下对对方所应该负起的责任，我却不怎么赞同。责任和爱是有联系的，如果不爱，哪来的责任？如果在一起只为了责任而少了爱，那岂不是很累吗？难道在外工作所要负起的责任还不够重吗？正正是为了你爱他，你才会欣然地履行你的承诺啊~

感情这门学识，还真不简单。处于不同阶段的伴侣，一直都是在不断互相学习，直到闭上眼睛的那一天。朋友，如果哪一天，你找到了属于你的那个人，请紧紧地抓住他，知道吗？ ;)  不然就不爱，要爱就要爱到底！

有时候，两个人在一起，

简简单单就好 ^^

原来，是祢 :)

自从来了教会，开始读圣经，开始上主日学，我才慢慢寻获以前怎么也无法解释的答案。有时候，我也会混乱，究竟是我把所有的刚巧联系在一起，把根本没有关系也扯在一起呢，还是其实是祢在给我的提示？总觉得，这世上若不是祢，应该不会有那么多刚巧的吧？

今天上主日学的时候，我们学习到关于圣灵。以往，我总会说我从小身边就有个天使，他无时无刻都陪伴在我身边。每当我有太多无法向人说出的话，我必说给他听。总觉得我体内一直住着另一个我，一个我常强调要守护的，那最纯的我。一个我做错事会责备我的良心，一个会把我坏念头打消的正直，一个不断扶持着我的坚强，一个让我看见这世界有多美的纯。因此，我常常都会有平安，因为我有他与我同在。

上课的时候，当梦洁给予越多讲解，我就越深感其受。如果说，根据新约，圣灵会与每个相信主的人同在，也必不会离开，那么我长久以来所认识的那天使，是圣灵吗？太多的相似，让我觉得就是他的感觉。太多的不敢置信，为什么我从小就可以获得祢的眷顾。。。

有时候，这种感觉很奇怪。是我真的对祢有着小孩子般的信心和盼望，还是我真的想太多？读回去以前的文字，蕴含一种非常庆幸有祢同在的感觉，一种觉得祢时刻都在守护我的信心。我知道我不应该质疑，而日子久了，祢也会慢慢地揭晓谜底。可是好奇心却不断驱使着我一再地想要探讨那答案，想要知道究竟是为什么祢会那么地恩待我。

这样兜兜转转又过了好几回，或许最后的答案很简单，那就是因为我是祢的女儿嘛~ 我只要读着祢的话语，追随祢的脚步，相信祢，然后把自己全然交托，对吗？就像小时候的我，就像还没察觉那是祢的时候，就那样单纯地相信祢，单纯地信靠祢，不为了什么，只为祢是我永生的主，对吗？

他们都说，婴孩时期的基督徒的祷告，上帝必允许让它成真，因为他们有着小孩子般的信心，是真的吗？那我所祷告的，祢听见了吧？:)

A: 你不是说上帝是听祷告的吗？结果呢？也没有回应你？

B: 不！他听祷告的，每次都听，而且绝不落空！
他回应了，只是这次的答复是 ：不可以！:)

My 1st PD Talk @ RAC Subang ;)

Today, I had my first Professional Development Talk with Rotaract Club of Subang~ Come to think of it, I have joined them for more than one year. All this while they have been treating me like their baby as I'm the youngest among all and most of them are working adults. I don't know why will I volunteer to present for this month, but I guess there is no harm to give it a try? haha

After the usual meeting, I prepared myself for the PD Talk as well as the sharing on my RYLA experience, two presentation in one shot~ During tonight's meeting, there were 2 Rotaractors from Bangladesh with us. I was telling JT, "why is it on the day that I will be going to present, there are so many people? LOL!" Luckily, before we got to end our meeting, they had to leave as they will be having an early flight on the next morning. So, it left with the usual members who I'm familiar with and some new guests.

My PD topic was "Network Marketing : Trustable or Scam?". Before I went into this field, I did quite some research on it. I was thinking as a student, I don't really have much topic to talk about, then why not share on what I got from my research. Therefore, I prepared a presentation on this topic, sharing with them about what is it all about, how do they operate, how do people think about it, the pros and cons as well as some little tips for them. The flow of my presentation was smooth, I think it was because I truly understand what I was talking about.

At the end, Jimmy supported it by sharing the story of his aunt, a disabled lady who earn up to 5 figures each month. But I would like to emphasize that it's really not for everyone and it does require hard work before you can really earn a stable income. I would not regard it as fast money, neither an easy income. Before you sign up for it, you need to consider whether it is suitable for you as well as your level of commitment.

They said it was a beneficial presentation and straight to the point. Hope that my feedback on RYLA will be useful for them as well~ Glad that I have made my first move, another step closer, another mark on my path as a Rotarator.

First is done, 

More to come :)

Netball @ KDU 2013

Unlike previous years, the KDU Sport Challenge 2013 is no longer in July, it has started few days ago. Initially, I was thinking to take a rest this year. Well, I have participated in Campus Run and Athletics during the first year, Netball and Athletics last year, this year I would like to take a break and watch the match =P But at the end of the day, my housemates dragged me into the Netball team again @.@

If you ask me, I will say I cannot even play netball well. Back into high school, girls used to play basketball instead of netball. When I came to KDU, girls are only allowed to participate in netball tournament and basketball tournament is strictly for guys only~ During last year's Sport Carnival, I just had a random thought to pick up the skill and hence, I joined the team. Till then, only I found out that there is actually so many restrictions in netball. All along I thought the players are only not allowed to move when they caught the ball, but it's actually more than that, including the area for each players, the roles, footsteps and of course the coordination among the team.

I admit that my footsteps ain't that good, maybe I just have the stamina and the skill in getting the ball from opponent team (they call it defend) which become the advantages for me. This year, Yellow Team members are better than last year, at least we got into more serious training and we do have more good players. It was clearly shown when we defeated the Blue Team, which was the champion for many years consecutively, and draw with the Green Team, which was usually the second.

We were all surprised when we won against the Blue Team with 4:3, just one goal ahead from them. Although we were aiming for the best game, not the first place, but that match seriously boosted our spirit. At the end, the result was a draw among the Blue, Green and Yellow, each of us has won 2 match. So, they counted by goals and Blue Team got the first place and we had to rematch with Green Team as we had the same number of goals. Then, we appeared to be the 3rd place~

Although we still remained as the 3rd place like last year, this year's was definitely a better match as compared to last year's. Despite the little argument between the captain and the staff and Eunice twisted her leg, everything went so well. I guess this would be my last sport match in KDU? haha~

Group picture of Yellow Netball Team ;)

I wonder
if I will still participate in netball when I'm at UK

:P

静夜庆元宵

丰富的菜肴
生疏的人潮
鞭炮的相奏
嘻哈的应对似乎
已掩盖了想家之意

多少个十日
似游子般漂流
家   成了半途的休息站
记住的   遗忘了
遗忘的   想起了

多少个一日
坐席上仍留了一位
期待你的归来
再予我些许时日
我必让其安享晚年

众人皆说元宵之际
月圆人团圆
在这宁静的深夜
时针对准了十二
圆   消了

何时方能再共赏

月的圆  夜的美？

与 ph 的小邂~

ph 从台湾回来了，哈哈！就在他回到台湾上课之前，得以和他出来叙旧了一下~

除了熙之和建伸，他就是另一个教导我成长的人了。想起当初空空如也地进入了劲草，在我来到少年茫然时期的十字路口，是他们引领我走向这一条道路。我常会说，劲草是 zxj 的诞生之处，因 xj 起名于此处，亦于此处萌芽绽放。心境的升华，是一种形容不出，却明显看得见的蜕变。

他，虽然真的很善于吹水，道理连篇，但如果你认真地去吸收，还真可学到不少。很多时候，大家的处事风格都是因跟随不一样长老而形成。他却让我吸取三位的好，然后再走出自己的风格。听见他说我是那成功的例子，我真感到庆幸，总算没有辜负了他们三人。虽然身边的人与环境都变了，可是已经拥有的心境是长随的。

劲草的巅峰期，是一段深刻地烙在心中的回忆；他们的肯定，也是漫漫路程中的推动力。既然沦落已经是预料之中的，何必执著呢，对吧？他说得对，从他们毕业以后，大家都隐约料到劲草的未来。我非圣贤，我曾经缅怀，也曾经尝试保留，始终一人难独撑大舟。转眼间，我都已经毕业三年了，已经没有必要再存有任何感触，这一切都成为了成长的回忆。如果你问我，我仅剩的一丝丝遗憾，就是来不及将当中所有的精髓传承吧，只来得及让他们成形，却未能让其中充实。

以前，ph 总喜欢在巴士上和我吹水或教我许多人生道理。看见他们，就像是一群带着17岁的身体，却拥有着超乎同龄人的心境。如今，同一个人坐在我的面前，诉说这自己的故事。不知怎么的，我似乎还是很喜欢听着他说故事，然后从中吸取。从他开口和我说起他的家人，说起了他的感情，我感受到了他以前没有的释怀，也多了分稳重和开朗。或许年龄的增长，渐增的体验以及时间的流逝真的起了效用。我们，不也都是如此吗？

我们其实真的甚少打字说话，因为根本不知道要说什么。是因面对面的时候非得开口，或因大家都已经习惯了这沟通方式都已不再重要了。这一次一别，也不知道多久后才能再见。我祝福他的前程，希望他早日能够放下。过了这一关以后，你就又达到更高的境界了 =)

大家,

都各自地努力着~

槟城4日行 :)

就这样，在情人节的这一天，结束了在槟城的四天~

星期一的大清早，我便随着他的家人驾驶北上。这算是我四次去到那里，却是第一次真正地去玩，以往的各为露营，跑步和吹风。一路上，周围的风景可真的很漂亮。从小就在城市长大，就连家乡也在八打灵的我，有时候真想在乡村地带住上一段时间，一睹那绿油油，蓝天白云的风采，享受宁静安详的生活。

在他妈妈家乡的前两天，的确会有点不习惯，只因他的亲戚真的真的很多，哈哈！过了两天，我想，我真正认得和记得名字的就只有那几个，但也总比他20年了还会认错自己亲戚好 :P 他外公家那里有个很大的菜园，是第一次到菜园去。如果有机会，下一次应该也到稻田去参观，想必亲身立足于那里的感觉一定会比从远处张望来得更好。

之后的两天，我们乘坐渡轮到槟岛去游玩（我看到好多 jellyfish 在海中!!），寄宿了在他表嫂的家。第一天早上，我们先到了escape park 去玩。所幸有他的表哥和表嫂载我们上去，如果是坐巴士，想必到达的时候，人潮已经挤满了整个地方。这也难怪，新年嘛，大家都带家人出来共享天伦，或是和朋友游玩。那里的构造真的很特别，结合了各种以绳子为主的攀爬活动和一些古时的特色。

我们玩了 monkey business, tubby racer 和 discovery dig。他还挑战了 atan's leap。说到这些活动，我也得认老了~ 我还不算得上有畏高症，可是比起以前却比较不能承受从高处冲下来的冲力了。不过还好我没有像他那样挑战 monkey business 的最高 level，不然谁来替他拍那么多漂亮的照片哈哈。

Monkey Business 

看他跳楼~

之后，我们到了沙滩那里走走，晚上吃了变回家休息。第二天，我们在壁画街拍照。看见早晨的细雨，原以为必须取消计划，还好之后停了。步行环绕了整个地区，还真的蛮累的。我们和四处的游客一样，一手拿着地图，然后大街小巷去找寻壁画，可惜有些已经没有或淡化了 :( 吃了午餐后，我们回去梳洗以后便出发回家了~

出名的姐弟骑车

这两天内，尝到了道地的美食，到了escape park 一游，和出名的壁画拍了照，同时也见识槟城的交通。rapid penang 可以让我们足足等上了两个小时 >< 这一次的旅程，还真的要感激好多人。感谢他的家人那么照顾我，处处都为我想。感谢他的表哥表嫂的款待，让我们寄宿（可怜他在客厅睡了两晚 XD），还请我们吃。最后，谢谢你带我到槟城去玩！

努力读书前的最后一个假期，最后一次放纵自己。这个新年假期，还真的很开心 ^^

槟城有美食天堂之称，

可这次的背包旅行，

我，却瘦了 :P

A Little of That Touched My Heart :')

Once I reached home for Chinese New Year celebration, I saw this 2 cards on my table. Far away from US and UK, from primary sisters Marissa and Hui Teng <3

Time flies, really fast. It was just like yesterday when we were running at the basketball court, playing around with each other and 煲电话粥 for few hours. It has been 13 years since Standard 1. Yea, I have known Noob Sa for 13 years and Teng for 12 years. From sisters that always stick together, we are now separated far away, each working hard, fighting for our own bright future. 

In Teng's card, she wrote down part of the lyric of "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins. 

"Come stop your crying it will be alright

 Just take my hand hold it tight

 I will protect you from all around you

 I will be here don't you cry

 From one so small you seem so strong

 My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm

 This bond between us can't be broken

 I will be here don't you cry

 Cause you'll be in my heart

 Yes you'll be in my heart

 From this day on

 Now and forever more"

Throughout this 20 years, a lot of things happened. Words can never fully express how much we have went through on our own path and how much does it take for us to be who we are now. We might not have each other to always be by our side, but deep down in your heart, you know they are there. Whenever you ask for help, you know they will never let you down or leave you alone. 

Noob Sa, remember to take care of yourself there. While enjoying your life, must remember to study hard okay? Once in a while, do share with me your suh-weet suh-weet stories =P 

For Teng, you better start building up your muscle now. I know my head is heavy, you must make sure that your shoulder is strong enough for me to lean on when I feel like crying XD

All and all, I feel glad that I have them to be by my side. Just a few years more, we will be back together again. Till then, we shall wait and see how much we have changed. I wish you girls all the best and always stay happy. No matter how far we have gone to, remember to leave a space for me in your heart <3 

I will not do anything today but smile

Because I have you girls ;)