this is the first english entry that i posted in my blog, and it is specially dedicated for You.
in this middle of the night when my family had gone to sleep, i'm siiting alone in the parlour and thinking about You.
i don't know how to express what i want to say exactly in my usual words, or i might say that i don't want to do so.
therefore i have this random thought of writing it in this style.
i will not say that i feel despair and i will not tear for what happened to You.
but, i will say that there are drizzles in my heart for quite a long period.
sometimes i'm wondering, do they know that how much they've hurted You for remaining silent all the time?
they have their own thoughts, but they refuse to voice out in front of others.
it is just because of certain reasons which i feel quite unreasonable.
it is definitely a waste of time for thinking whether You should go ahead and the same goes to the continuous of the war.
instead, all of them including me should be blamed for causing hurts to You.
they have been thinking too much until they have lost their actual principles and also the trust between each other.
he bond that linking each other is even thinner than a thread.
how good if they could realise that they need to grow up and can't do things depending on others.
when time past, it shouldn't be "ourselves" anymore while we are doing something.
for every steps that we are making, we should stand at the the side of "them" and think for "them".
i'm no longer belongs to You.
how much i wish i could face you with my optimism, unfortunately i need to accept the fact.
i want to help You, and i'm willing to give my best to You.
but now i came to a situation that i don't know what else can i do.
it might also be a reason that i'm creating for myself that stopped me from processing ahead.
i need help, i need Your dear people to wake up and show their best.
a whole new year is going to start, and we are having lesser time to make a decision.
i don't hope that You will end up just because of us who failed to retain our mission and failed to fulfill our promise.
i know You have been walking alone because quite a number of people have already left.
even for those who stayed, they failed to give the minimum support that You required all along the time.
yet, i still have faith in You for this moment.
i'm sure that You can withstand all these barriers, but its only if all Your dear people can give in their true efforts.
and i'm waiting for You to prove to me that what am i doing is persist but not stubborn.
after finishing this, i know very well that, i still care.
i don't want to state who am i referring to.
if you feel that you are one of them, please give in your best from now on.
i want to say sorry at the end of this if i have been overstated anything.
may my best regards and the will of others guide You to a future that full of brightness =)
and i wish all the people Merry Christmas =D
